Despite my wonderful mood eariler, which surprisingly came from no particular occurance, I feel absolutely horrible.

I am really sick.
I think caffine is really getting to me. I really need to stop. I need to cut off cold turkey.

Ugh ugh ughhhh.
I talked to Hayley today. First time in months. And I told her how I felt. and everything. and it was almost bitter sweet. I told her that I would like to imagine that if I knew the real her, I would love and care for her just as much as I did for the "fake" Hayley I loved and cared for during our four year friendship. I did cry as I told her I loved her always and forever and I cried when she told me she was happy for once, and she liked starting over and she was finally comfortable for herself. Something I could never understand how to remedy.

Things shape up eventually I suppose.
As for me, days are growing closer for me to grow one year older. Weird I'm another year older.
Ugh so strange. I am getting so old now. Yet so young and coming into my prime, I would like to think.
I am going to crawl literally to the bathtub and soak in boiling hot water and watch myself prune. maybe I will feel better? And then crawl to my big bed and curl up in between sheets and doze off.

Can this week end already!!! I want to just get friday night over with. And make something out the weekend because I surely have failed for the past two.