mnbyyyfhdd

I couldn't really think of a good title. Woo, lack of skill today.

My arms are really sore. The kind of feeling after you work out for a couple of hours, but I didn't work out, nor do I ever. So that's a little odd.

I don't really know if Steven and I are broken up, I'm going to go with yes, but who really knows. Great position to be in, I know. I'm really not going to asorb myself with the overwhelming-ness(word?) on that now.

Right now, I have so much studying to do. With advanced exams coming on friday, and having a huge review packet due, and everything else, I'm just going to be too preoccupied to care. And frankly, that's okay with me.

I guess this is weird for me, I've never been the emotional type in any of my relationships. I've always been really laid back, I never get too attached, and I find the positive when things don't work out.

But driving home last saturday morning I really surprised myself when I got in the car muttering about how angry at myself I was and I actually cried. Not the gross, sniffly kind. The kind where about fifty tears come out all at once, quick, easy, and painless. The ones that don't even make a mess with makeup or make your eyes red. I don't know why I was crying, maybe because I felt used.
I actually used the 'indulge' girl method when you're upset. But I didn't buy chocolate, just Jamba Juice haha.

Then on the way home from the movie on Sunday by myself, it happened again! What is this?! Why am I actually being affected? I think maybe I have just kept a lot of things bottled up inside for tooooo long.

Or maybe, for once, I really care about something, and want what's best for me. Instead of putting someone else first.

Is this too selfish?