Puzzled

Does not beging to compensate for the way my state of being stands.

I don't know about anything anymore.

I miss so much in my life.

I feel and emptiness dragging me down deeply. Into a catylst full of dark emotion I try to resist to feel, and in that resistance, I lose my ability to feel anything furthermore.

It's kind of strange.

I don't react to anything anymore.
I didn't react to my best friend for three + years lying to me every inch about every inch of her life.
I just shrugged my shoulders and said "that's fucking stupid". But I don't know if that shrug of my shoulders and use of profanity was just running through the motions of what I should be doing.

I didn't tear, I didn't question. I just laxed.

What is wrong with me.
What is wrong with my mind.
what is wrong with my heart.
What is wrong with my emotions.
What is wrong with my pysche.
What is wrong with me?

I wish there was something or someone to awaken what has been dormant recently.