I need a cigarette so badly right now, or pot. Or liquor. Right now, I need the cleans smooth feeling of glass being held in one hand and the lighter in the other flicking the plastic that will being to heal my fears in moments.
I don't know what I have proceeded to get myself into, it's typical really. I don't want a normal boyfriend! I want what I had! I want it back! I want it fucking back! Things were simple and made sense. It wasn't the fake smiling and checking up on each other and forced happiness. None of the showing me off like a prize. Nothing like this. I hate it. I feel such disdain when I think of it I just want to puke all over the idea of it. Ugh, fuck it. I just want to fuck everyone's relationship who is like this all up and tear it to shreds. It's not real! It's what you think it should be, it's what the early 20th century, 1950, baby-boomer family, father worker, mother cooker, aimed to be. It's not what we, as a generation, are anymore. I just wish it would go the fuck away.
I am so grim at this moment and hostile, it's really unbearable, even for myself to watch. Hmph
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