I'm really overwhelmed with new attention. I'd rather not even have it. Too much stress, and hopes, and too much potential on what I'm doing. People relying on me is a episode of disaster, I would just not have it at all if I could. I'm not even interested back unto those who are paying me the attention. It's the rush of the game that fuels me. The attention I do want, isn't given. So now the new game is that. I want it so badly, but not just for stats, for keeps maybe.
I hope this game doesn't rule my life, I want to be able to run after something, have it, keep it, and be fulfilled.
My state of mind may never change.
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