Wishes

This is exactly what I've been looking like and my mood has been enthralled with the whole night:





Deep melancholyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy at it's best.

I've just been thinking so much about my future. Expectations, standards, blah blah.
I wish it were as simple as I want it to be. I think no one really understands what it's like and what it has to be like except for Cassi, because her parents are the same way. I have to conform to their expectations and standards or no school. And school isn't something I'm willing to just give up.

I want to go to college and get my degree, be studying what I want to do. Education is really important to me, so don't get me wrong, I don't mind that expectation.

But I want to be happy in what I pick, and my parents are pushing about job prespects, and money. Steven said something tonight about not wanting to be chasing money and just find something that I'm happy doing and do it. He's completely right. But it's not as easy as just getting married and doing what I want. I only wish. I only wish. I wish I just could get married right now! And be a good wife and mother and support my husband in whatever. And be happy.

Be settled, be happy, embrace everyday for its worth.

I know it's not that simple, and I know this is far from my reach. That's what's depressing me.